Today we held the Network EXCO campaign and interview. Looking at my juniors’ aspiring faces, my old ambitious self revitalized in me. One year has gone, in a blink of an eye. I just realized how much I have not done for this CCA, the one I claimed to be my first and the foremost important. Juniors’ questions triggered my thoughts. Did I enjoy this year as an EXCO member? Was it a piece of fulfilling experience? No doubt I have accomplished the basic job scope set for a conventional welfare coordinator for Network, setting up a drink stall at the CSM and organizing a welfare session with videos and snacks. But is that enough for bringing all the J1 and J2s together and bonding the whole CCA as a family? Far from it. Epic Fail! I could not even name all the J1s by now, having been with them in the same CCA for half a year. The words said are always more beautiful than the actions done. I was not as entrepreneurial as I had expected, in pushing Network forward and making more changes in the club.
But I did not fail to be entrepreneurial in life, definitely. Part of my confidence must have stirred from listening to those successful businessmen’s fascinating stories. I am becoming more and more outspoken, adventurous, and self-respecting every year. I follow my heart and do not let others’ views on me alter my will. Ask the Yangfan in Sec 3, she would definitely not dare to tie her hair with a striking blue ribbon. I do what will make me happy, without crossing the boarder to upset others. Just as what Mrs Chin shared, I do not need to be the best among all, but I shall never stop to strive to be the best of myself. I know my confidence and my daring spirit are my greatest treasure. To pursue my passion persistently, voice out my opinions sincerely and share my resources willingly would be my definition for entrepreneurship in college life.
Nonetheless, I may want to reconsider my role as a leader. Now I think about it, I am wholeheartedly glad that I was not chosen to be the President of Network. Indeed, I was super disappointed when I knew the EXCO composition. Frankly, the Network EXCO campaign and the two rounds of interview were the ones I invested most of my energy and time in, among all the selections and interviews I have gone to. Kai Zhi did not do a perfect job, but he did much better than what I would possibly be able to do. I know I have the leadership aura. That’s actually something I was always looking for when I conducted the interviews for the BSP Council and the JCSC. The way you carry yourself in front of your peers, back straight, head up, the tone and pitch you use when you speak, forceful and articulate, the sincerity and trust you instill into your audience at every eye-to-eye contact, they are all taken into account when your voters are picking someone to meet their needs.
Yet, acquiring the “feel” or “breath” of a leader is far from being one. I lack some substances. I seldom have a clear vision and thus my motivation for changes wavers. I incline to be conservative in terms of event organizing and association expanding. This afternoon when I looked around, I realized that there were a lot of devoted J2s who have stayed loyal to Network all this time, Hok Xiang, Tian Sheng, Kenneth, Zijin, and many others who quietly supported Network. Maybe they lost out to me at the campaign, but I am sure some of them have the ability and determination to be a much better EXCO member than me. Maybe I should stop abusing others’ trust on me and think deeper and harder before I apply for any leadership positions in the future. What I have achieved in all my past leadership positions is merely being responsible for completing whatever I am supposed to do. I have not tried trekking the extra mile yet. I don’t even know the direction of that extra mile. What a disaster!
Leadership remains as a mystery for me to explore more. My journey of serving Network comes to an end. I enjoyed working with Kai Zhi the cutest, sweetest and most considerate, Wei Xuan the most gentlemanly, humblest and noblest, Norman the most motivating and eloquent, and dear Ferries the most “irritating”, “annoying” and lovable. I think somehow they spoiled me, the only girl in the exco, by tolerating my random craziness and super lame jokes. Hopefully they suffered less than my classmates. And I am definitely going to miss them. I hope we did choose the most suitable successors to steer our beloved entrepreneur Ship. I hope Network is handed into good hands. And more will find their experience as Networkers or Networkians rewarding. Just as I do.
