Soliloquy

其实想起来，昨天收到stanford拒信的时候挺无辜的。人家大清早爬起来明明是去弄NUS FA的东东，然后一打开邮箱看到一封decision letter，睡眼朦胧之时受到的震撼着实不小。不是说一号才出的咩，干啥给我斩立决？

harvard说发邮件通知，为嘛我还木有收到邮件？哥大的密码我忘记提前申请了，要等消息，系统运作也许要滞后几个小时。。。

我就这么耷拉着脖子等在行刑台上，然后那个叫做山姆大叔的刽子手砍了一半就停下来喝咖啡去了。。。这是啥米状况？

我现在才知道，剑桥的拒信是这段被拒绝旅程的开始。A LEVEL的滑铁卢根本就是小菜一碟。在所有光环下照耀了那么多年日光灯的我，终于发现原来自己不过是个凡人。再普通不过。

我想说，被卡内基梅隆跟达特茅斯拒了比啥米都难过。难过。难过。难过。

我回去补回笼觉了。伤心。

以上，写在这个接受审判的初春早晨。
3月31日

——————————————————

给我一个OFFER，再加一个FA。
如果没有FA，有奖学金也OKAY。
如果都木有，那就赐我一个男人。
最好是个温柔善良又上进的男人，不离不弃一辈子。
这样，在这个大牛横行的时代，我就能活得稍稍更为淡定些。
阿门。

以上，写自2011年3月30日。

What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.

Wellesley 23 Mar 2011 Reject
Smith 25 Mar 2011 Reject
Vassar 25 Mar 2011 Reject
Carnegie Mellon 28 Mar 2011 Not Admitted
Stanford 30 Mar 2011 Reject
Dartmouth 30 Mar 2011 Reject
Yale 30 Mar 2011 Reject
Harvard 30 Mar 2011 Reject
Columbia 30 Mar 2011 Reject

Wellesley

March 23, 2011

Dear Yangfan,

Thank you for your application to Wellesley College. The Board of Admission has completed its deliberations and regrets to inform you that we cannot offer you a place in the Class of 2015. Your application was carefully reviewed and we recognized your many accomplishments. Most of our applicants had excellent high school records and outstanding personal qualities. We simply did not have room for all of the superb students who applied to Wellesley this admission season.

Please note that this is the only notification you will receive of your decision and that all decisions of the Wellesley Board of Admission are final. We appreciate the time and care you took in providing us with your credentials and wish you success as you pursue your education.

Sincerely,
Jennifer C. Desjarlais
Dean of Admission and Financial Aid

Smith

March 25, 2011

I regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission to Smith College.

Please know that this decision is not an evaluation of your potential for success in college but simply our best estimate of your credentials in comparison with those of other applicants for the class of 2015. Unfortunately, because of the nature of the competition, we were not able to admit some very good candidates. An official copy of this decision was mailed today.

Thank you for your interest in Smith and best wishes for your college career.

Sincerely,

Debra Shaver
Director of Admission

Vassar

March 25, 2011

Dear Yangfan:
The Committee on Admission has completed its deliberations on candidates for the Class of 2015 and unfortunately has decided that we will be unable to offer you admission to Vassar. Applications to Vassar reached an all-time record high level this year, with 8000 candidates for a freshman class of just 660 students. Unfortunately, this level of competition dictates that we must deny admission to many fine candidates.

I wish that I could write with better news, and I assure you that our decision was a difficult one to make. We appreciate your interest in Vassar, and offer our best wishes for a successful and rewarding college experience.

Sincerely,
David M. Borus
Dean of Admission and Financial Aid

Stanford

Dear Yangfan,

It is with regret that I write to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission to the freshman class at Stanford University. Please know that this decision does not reflect any deficiency or weakness in your application. We are humbled by your talents and achievements, and are impressed with the commitment that you have shown in all of your academic and extracurricular endeavors.

We appreciate the thoughtfulness and care that went into your application and want to assure you that your candidacy received thorough and serious consideration. This decision should in no way detract from the very impressive credentials that you presented; due to the large number of applications that we receive for a comparatively small incoming class, we must unfortunately disappoint a vast majority of our applicants each year.

You should know that we arrive at all admission decisions by way of an exhaustive committee review process. As a result, all application decisions are final, and we are unable to consider appeals of any kind. For your reference, answers to some of the most commonly asked questions regarding our restrictive early action admission process may be found here. I hope these will address any questions or concerns you may have. I would also like to share with you an article I wrote for the Los Angeles Times in 2007 which you may find applicable today.

We understand that this news must be disappointing to receive and, for that reason, we will not send a duplicate notification of this decision by mail.

Yangfan, I want to thank you for your interest in Stanford and the effort that you put into your application. I wish you the very best for an outstanding undergraduate experience.

Sincerely,

Richard H. Shaw
Dean of Admission and Financial Aid

http://files.e2ma.net/17556/Library/docs/Shaw_Stanford_RD2010x.pdf

Dartmouth

March 30, 2011

Yangfan Zhang

re: Your Regular Decision Application

Dear Yangfan,

I regret to inform you that we cannot offer you admission to the Class of 2015 at Dartmouth. During the past few months as we evaluated over 22,000 applications, we have tried to bring to our deliberations the care and intensity that you brought to your application. Our selection process did give us the opportunity to fully evaluate your candidacy.

The selection process does not separate qualified from unqualified applicants. We are convinced that most candidates for admission to Dartmouth would thrive academically and personally at the College. Of the many strong students in our applicant pool, an overwhelming majority are destined to perform extremely well in their college years. It is only the highly selective nature of the competition for admission that prevents us from offering more of our applicants a place at Dartmouth. This is one of the few times we wish we had a larger student body so that we could enroll more students.

The disappointment we feel in sending you this news is tempered by our knowledge that you will be successful at the institution you choose to attend. Best wishes for the next four years.

Sincerely,

Maria Laskaris
Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid

Yale

Dear Yangfan:

The Yale Admissions Committee has completed its evaluation of this year’s candidates, and I am genuinely sorry that we are not able to offer you a place in the class of 2015.

I realize that this decision may come as a real disappointment. I also hope you will understand that the decision reflects only the extraordinary range of talents represented in our applicant pool, not a judgment about your own abilities or potential. Of the more than twenty-seven thousand individuals who applied to Yale this year, most are fully capable of doing outstanding work and making a unique contribution to a campus community. It is painful to us that we must turn away so many superbly talented students.

You may be tempted to ask what was lacking in your application. In truth, it is usually difficult for us to point to obvious weaknesses when so many applicants have demonstrated real achievement and potential for the future. Our decisions say far more about the small number of spaces available and the difficult choices we make than they do about a candidate’s personal and academic promise.

While regretting that we were not able to respond positively to your interest in Yale, I want to wish you every success in your educational pursuits. Experience suggests that regardless of our decisions, most of our candidates will be welcomed by other outstanding colleges. I extend my best wishes for the coming year.

Sincerely,

Jeffrey Brenzel
Dean of Undergraduate Admissions

Harvard

Dear Ms. Zhang,

I am very sorry to inform you that it is not possible to offer you admission to the Class of 2015. I wish I were writing to report a different decision, but the competition was so rigorous this year that there were many outstanding young men and women to whom we could not offer places in the class.

Nearly thirty-five thousand students, a record number, applied to the entering class. The great majority of the applicants could certainly have been successful here academically, and most candidates presented strong personal and extracurricular credentials as well. The Committee was, therefore, faced with the necessity of choosing a class from a great many more talented and highly qualified students than it had room to admit.

We wish it were possible for us to admit more of our fine applicants, and we understand how difficult the college application process can be for students and their families. While the Committee conducted its deliberations with the utmost care, we know that no one can predict with certainty what an individual will accomplish during college or beyond. Past experience suggests that the particular college a student attends is far less important than what the student does to develop his or her strengths and talents over the next four years.

We very much appreciate the interest you have shown in Harvard College. We hope that you will accept the best wishes of the Committee for success in all your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

William R. Fitzsimmons

Columbia

Dear Yangfan,

The Committee on Admissions has carefully reviewed your application to Columbia University, and we are sorry to inform you we cannot offer you a place in Columbia’s Class of 2015. This year, almost 35,000 candidates applied for places in the first-year class, making this the most difficult selection process in our history. The many strengths of the entire applicant pool – as demonstrated by scholastic successes achieved, by community service performed, by activities pursued, by essays written and by books read – made the selection process more competitive than simple numbers could possibly indicate. Indeed, while we are gratified by the number of candidates seeking the excitement and challenge of the Columbia experience, the size of the pool sadly compels us to disappoint a great many talented and appealing young people..

We want you to know that our decision in no way reflects a lack of confidence in your ability to achieve success in your college plans and on through life. Our experience is that the vast majority of students who do not gain admission here go on to distinguish themselves at fine colleges and universities throughout the world, and we are confident that you will do so as well. We must make clear, however, that since our decisions are made after many hours of intense deliberation, the Office of Undergraduate Admissions cannot consider any review of your decision.

We appreciate your interest in Columbia and wish you the best in your pursuit of higher education.

Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid

忘记是什么时候第一次听到这首歌了。只知道是某天逛到某个陌生的博客，背景音乐是god is a girl。然后去查groove coverage，然后就翻到far away from home。电子声电子声。

没心情写了。。。我要跟小顾去散步。。。。给我一个OFFER。。。
明天煲鸡汤庆祝等完decision。。。如果有Offer,要杀老鼠祭天！！！

Groove Coverage

I’m loving living every single day but sometimes I feel so….
I hope to find a little peace of mind and I just want to know.

And who can heal those tiny broken hearts, and what are we to be.
Where is home on the milky way of stars, I dry my eyes again.

In my dreams I’m not so far away from home,
What am I in a world so far away from home,
All my life all the time so far away from home,
Without you I’ll be so far away from home.

If we could make it trough the darkest Night we’d have a brighter day.
the world I see beyond your pretty eyes, makes me want to stay.

And who can heal those tiny broken hearts, and what are we to be.
Where is home on the milky way of stars, I dry my eyes again.

In my dreams I’m not so far away from home,
What am I in a world so far away from home,
All my life all the time so far away from home,
Without you I’ll be so far away from home.

I count on you, no matter what they say, cause love can find it’s time.
I hope to be a part of you again, baby let us shine.

And who can heal those tiny broken hearts, and what are we to be.
Where is home on the milky way of stars, I dry my eyes again.

In my dreams I’m not so far away from home,
What am I in a world so far away from home,
All my life all the time so far away from home,
Without you I’ll be so far away from home.

最初的梦想

美国梦

他.她.

Far Away From Home

给我一个offer