风筝于我，是童年，是飞翔，是自由。
迎风飞奔，好像什么烦恼都忘记了。
在热带的晴天不擦防晒霜曝晒几小时的结果就是，脸上、手臂、大腿全部晒伤。
晚上去看舞，回来分别的时候他说，你今天晒得面色泛红，挺好的。
觉得安然喜悦。
迎风飞奔，好像什么烦恼都忘记了。
在热带的晴天不擦防晒霜曝晒几小时的结果就是，脸上、手臂、大腿全部晒伤。
晚上去看舞，回来分别的时候他说，你今天晒得面色泛红，挺好的。
觉得安然喜悦。
就这样吧
The Sad Note, written last night
我以为我彻底遗忘，彻底原谅，彻底远离，彻底宽恕。
没想到一个不经意的问题可以击碎所有防线，我居然只能够说这是一个冗长的故事。然后是嘎然而止的沉默，突兀而不自然。不是不可以倾诉，是不知从何说起。而且去回想，居然还会痛。
lkd太敏锐了，太能洞察人心了，他这个优点曾给我无数安慰，但今晚让我无所遁形无所适从.他记得每一句我眼神放空失焦沉浸在回忆里面时说的话，让我不得不直面真实的自己。那句土掉渣的话怎么说的来着，骗得了所有人骗不了自己。我骗得自己好苦吖！苦得只能抱着被子蒙头流泪！
俺是猪头。俺就是一个大大大大的装满草的猪头。俺娘对俺的定位评价真是无比英明明智圣明。俺把简单的东西搞得很复杂，然后再拉着一帮子关心我的人一起纠结。这就是典型的吃饱了撑着，想方设法装装忧郁文艺小青年扮有内涵有文化。
有些事情，一直以为很美好，想要珍藏在时光的缝隙。任何时候拿出来品，都会觉得人生没有白活。我今天醒悟，有些事情，不如忘掉的好，陈年旧事，没有意义，徒添烦恼。让它随风散去吧。否则每回想一次，便会失真一次，而最后就会像那棵惊鸿一瞥的花树，留在记忆里很美，再重访，梦碎，现实不尽如人意。
以后若被问起，我一定说，只是个重要的故人而已。至于细节，我什么都不记得了。
The Happy Note, writing now
lkd对全都是你的错！！！害我那么emo导致我睡过头了！我一定会迟到！我刚刚才醒！我看到你的long winded email了。。。我要去刷牙洗脸了！阿弥陀佛保佑我平安活在lewis的责备下！俺的甚吖！俺收拾收拾自己去放风筝咯！哈哈！不快都飞到天上去吧！
又逢中秋
我想我骨子里头是个离经叛道的人。也许潜意识里想成为安妮笔下那个不羁的内河。不论如何，我发觉自己越来越放纵着去凭感觉行事，我随心动，也许本该如此。
我会记得这年的中秋，月光如水，夜色透明，青草芬芳，露水深重。以天为被，以地为席，畅所欲言，只差对月当歌，把酒言欢。惬意至极。
我会记得这年的中秋，月光如水，夜色透明，青草芬芳，露水深重。以天为被，以地为席，畅所欲言，只差对月当歌，把酒言欢。惬意至极。
回到宿舍就收到他的明信片，学地理的室友说，寄出地点毕罗内是个遥远的极度贫困的地方，饥饿肆虐，艾滋泛滥。我在字里行间读到了他的喜悦与兴奋，微笑的间隙可以想象得出他眉飞色舞面绯含笑的神情。时隔分别四年，我们在各自的轨迹上渐行渐远，哈，庆幸仍能互相期许观望。
一家一家亲戚打电话。葵姨说，世间人情渐淡，真正欢腾着过节的也许只有尚未懂事的小表弟。童心纯净，远离世俗人情，只知有饼吃，有灯赏，与家人同乐，入梦时要看得见挂在窗边的灯笼，便欢乐之至。我听了心里些许憾然，儿时中秋前后一连几日拉着小伙伴们点着灯笼挨家挨户找人玩的时光终是一去不返了。
聊起我的近况，葵姨说毕业后要开始重视着装打扮，人生苦短，女子一生的芳华就那么短短几年，稍纵即逝。花开盛极之时，便要红装素裹，让它艳得障目，妖娆绝世。谢了，才不会太过憾然。我惶恐，原来不经意间已非孩童，长辈们将我当作少女。平日里跟朋友们谈笑间说的奔二的时日，原来真的在飞逝。双十，点点逼近，不容逃脱。
聊起我的近况，葵姨说毕业后要开始重视着装打扮，人生苦短，女子一生的芳华就那么短短几年，稍纵即逝。花开盛极之时，便要红装素裹，让它艳得障目，妖娆绝世。谢了，才不会太过憾然。我惶恐，原来不经意间已非孩童，长辈们将我当作少女。平日里跟朋友们谈笑间说的奔二的时日，原来真的在飞逝。双十，点点逼近，不容逃脱。
今晨早起洗漱，向清理垃圾筒的阿姨打了个招呼，平日没见过她，没想到是个健谈的人。说她辛苦了，她竟说，各行各业都有各自的辛苦与压力，只是看各人心态罢了。将近六十的人了，精神极佳，中气足，不驼背不弯腰，头发乌黑，连皱纹都不多。她说就是因为心态好才如此，再加上老天保佑，身体健康，无癌无瘤。呵呵，大清早的就发现宿舍员工里头藏龙卧虎，阿姨这样的心境，许多人修炼一世都不得。
嗯，我要倾尽所能，让自己过得快乐，获得内心的富足与安然。我想这是父母最真切的希望，是生命的真谛，一切与世俗无关。
The heavy past
memory is essential
if you do not remember your errors, you may repeat them
just as there is no pain without memory, there is also no true happiness.
No matter how delightful an experience is, you cannot value the pleasure it gives you unless you have some memory of a time when you have suffered.
twelve-year-old Jonas rejects a society where everyone is the same to follow his own path.
Moments involving physical nakedness are closely related to the idea of emotional nakedness
trust, intimacy, freedom. innocence and childishness
an escape from the physical and psychological hold of the community
We really have to protect people from wrong choices.
benevolent oppression
peace & order VS individual choices
rebellion
The phrase “back and back and back” is meant to express the inevitability of the current situation: Sameness is not a historical moment that has a beginning and an end, but an endless, changeless state, something beyond time and space and human intervention.
This quality of “back and back and back” is a major factor in the society’s success. No one thinks to question structures that are so ancient and unchanging that they seem perfectly natural, and even though Jonas and the Giver know that life existed before Sameness, they have no memories of Sameness ever being defeated.
Since the words “back and back and back” constitute an acceptance of the community’s most important illusion—that nothing has ever existed but Sameness—this moment could be seen as a moment of defeat, in which Jonas feels utterly crushed by the strict structures of the society.
diversity, differences, choices, orderly, predictable, painless, injustice, cruelty
without the memory it’s all meaningless
burden and pain
individual, special, unique, proud
He saw all of the light and colour and history it contained and carried in its slow-moving water; and he knew that there was an Esewhere from which it came, and an Elsewhere to which it was going.
The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It’s the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.
I don’t understand the ending. I think Jonas and Gab died. Dan, we shall discuss the story some time.
To add on:
one choice always eliminates another choice
People with free choice have to accept the consequences of their actions, but in the end they will be happier to have the choice.
His memories exist simply to give his life meaning and pleasure, and to help him overcome personal obstacles. Love and choice both require memory, and Jonas loves, makes choices, and remembers.
If Jonas does die at the end, he still dies only after having really lived. Note how at the end of the novel, Gabriel is referred to as a baby, not a newchild. Jonas and Gabriel are now both more human.
At eleven years old I am not a particularly adventurous child, nor am I a rebellious one. But I have always been curious.
I wander through Shibuya day after day during those years when I am 11, 12 and 13. I love the feel of it, the vigor and the garish brightness and the noise; all of such a contrast to my own life.
And I remember once again how comfortable, familiar and safe my parents had sought to make my childhood by shielding me from ELSEWHERE. But I remember, too, that my response had been to open the gate again and again. My instinct had been a child’s attempt to see for myself what lay beyond the wall.
And if I’ve learned anything through that river of memories, it is that we can’t live in a walled world, in an “only us, only now” world where we are all the same and feel safe. We would have to sacrifice too much. The richness of color and diversity would disappear feelings for other humans would no longer be necessary. Choices would be obsolete.
i like the idea that children are parents’ receiver of memories. They continue their parents’ lives. They are the future.
Carl Nelson
The man that I named The Giver passed along to the boy knowledge,history, meories, color, pain, laughter, love, and truth. Every time you place a book in the hands of a child, you do the same thing.
It is very risky.
But each time a child opens a book, he pushes open the gate that separates him from Elsewhere. It gives him choices. It gives him freedom.
Those are magnificent, wonderfully unsafe things.
Words taken from SparkNotes & the writer’s Newbery Medal receiving speech…
俺和俺的床
俺最好的朋友是俺的床。俺恨不得一点二十四小时都跟它待在一起。
其一。俺的朋友也很爱俺的床。一两个月前的某天，周文静半夜抱着她的熊跳过来把我吵醒，然后把我挤到角落，硬是要跟我分享我的床。我在迷迷糊糊中挪了下身子，让了半个枕头和半张被子给她，半醒半眠间听她咕囔着说什么做噩梦了好恐怖不敢一个人睡。我orz了。。。第二天起来笑她胆小，准备写篇博起名叫“美女半夜跳上我的床”纪念纪念的，后来不知为啥耽搁了。现在补上吧。我们都爱我的床。
其二。我的床给了我做梦的绝佳环境。最近一个经典的梦是这样的。话说这天白天，我在报纸上读到了MM Lee与他夫人六十多年的鹣鲽情深，然后晚上做了一晚数学，第二天是prelim Math paper1。于是，我半夜梦见一个爱情故事，一个男人很爱很爱一个女人，这个女人的名字是complex number 的 polar form.我被他们之间伟大的爱情感动了，半夜醒来，泪流满面，哭得我心都痛了。
我跟一些人分享了这个故事，他们反应如下：
醒来的清早，周文静：无比鄙视地扫了我一眼，不屑于评论。
廉杰：吖，那个男人怎么称呼那个女人吖？亲爱的r(cosx+isinx)?
陈大妹子：。。。（我忘了他说啥了。。。反正挺绅士地没鄙视我。）
我娘：猪头，你个大猪头。
李大爷：奸笑/窃笑/无语的笑？搞不清，反正嘴角上扬45度就对了。
综合分析以上sample size为5的数据看来，性别为女的人们普遍对我态度比较恶劣，善于用眼神、表情、语言、语气打击、伤害我弱小的心灵。男性相对而言较为友善，反应比较内敛，让我有往积极评价的方面想象发挥的余地。小人与女子难养。我怕小女子。
其三。俺昨晚又创记录地睡了12个小时。以前这么睡好像是NOI training的时候了。NND考个小破试把我累成这样。我考完A LEVEL要回家好好睡，立誓不睡成猪不起床！俺娘说咱家买了个1.8米宽的大床，然后又反复警告我那是他们的不是俺的。我在心里纠结了一下，你们前两年每次我回家钻你们被窝的时候不是就说好了以后要买2米的床方便我钻的吗？现在没经过我批准就缩水了0.2米不说，还剥夺了我的钻被窝权利！怎么能这样呢？你们两个加起来都九十多岁的人了怎么能欺负我一个十九岁的小孩子呢？做人要厚道么不是！管你的！TNND!小杨姐小张哥，你们的就是俺的，你们的床当然也是欢迎俺睡的！
random：俺老了，俺学习一天居然也会腰酸背痛了，俺去跑个步拉拉筋居然就肌肉酸痛两腿发抽。。。这把老骨头不中用咯！