test
It's been all but a long and lonely winter
5 September
It’s been a long day.
GEM-dragon boat plus Service-learning pudding making plus some reflective thoughts in between, there were challenges for both my body and mind.
Omitting the wordiness, I just want to note down two stories here. First is about a video screened during the BSP talk at Nanyang yesterday. A group of parents gathered together and chatted about their adult children.
A said proudly, “ My son is a successful lawyer. He always wins lawsuits.”
B came next, “My daughter is a great doctor. She saves tremendous lives.”
C and many other parents continued to showcase their children’s grand occupations and achievements. But a parent did not say anything.
So all others asked him, “What does your child do?”
He replied, “My son is just an ordinary person. He takes good care of me.”
When they heard this, the rest of the parents fell silent. Indeed, their children were successful in one way or another. Yet they were so engaged in their careers that they seldom came home to visit their parents, talked to their loved ones who raised them up and helped to do some house work. They succeed to be a good lawyer, doctor or any other profession with a grand title, yet they failed badly to fulfill their primary obligation, which was to be a dutiful son or daughter.
Andrel told me this story when we were queuing to pay for the ingredients of mango pudding at a supermarket. Before that I was telling her how happy I was to get to know her and we became close friends. I guessed it’s only at this pre-adult age when one could make true friends, without considering those so-called important factors in the adults’ eyes, such as social status and family background. Yet after hearing her words, I realized that it’s me who cared too much about all these silly factors, all the time, all along. Forget about all the grand names, it’s people who matter the most in our life. Be true and sincere to my parents, friends and everyone else around me, I am glad that I had been trying to do this, and will continue to do this in every day of my life.
The second learning point was drawn from the short conversion I had with Xin Yan at the bus stop after the pudding making session. It’s the first time I went to her home and I saw all the trophies she and her younger brother got in various competitions. Row by row they stood there on the shelf, neatly and quietly. The furnishings in the house are simple and clean, which make one feel comfortable and calm, just like Xin Yan’s personality. Knowing her for nearly three years, I found her never fail to surprise me, in a quiet way. To begin with, I must state clearly that she is a very versatile girl, talented in many aspects including dancing, drawing, calligraphy and weiqi (go chess). In addition, she is beautiful, at least in my eyes and I have never changed this point of view.
However, she is always so modest and humble. She never boasts about her awards, achievements and skills. When comes to team work, she talks little and does a lot, contributing as much as she could. Moreover, she displays integrity in her words and conduct, and is kind enough to remind her friends on that as well, without hurting their self-esteem. She makes me feel comfortable when I chat with her, neither humiliated nor abrupt. Nonetheless, if her behaviour is a mirror, I would not dare to look at my reflection in it. My vainglory, egoism and selfishness are loud enough to embarrass me. Being curious enough, I took the chance and courage, for the first time, to ask about her personal belief and the reason behind her right doings.
Then I got an answer more rewarding than I had expected. As I have known long ago, she is a Buddhist. She said, you won’t feel so proud when you know how trivial you are in the universe. She believed that she was a devoted Buddhist and did a lot of goods in her previous life (or maybe the countless lives before, as Leo said). Thus, she is blessed with talents, opportunities and resources to acquire those knowledge and skills. Yet, she knows that all the things she has now will be gone someday. It’s just a matter of time. There’s no need to grieve at losing things in life though, because in the first place we have nothing and so actually there is nothing to lose. Therefore, there is no reason to be proud of having something which will be lost someday. Live with a peaceful mind at all the crests and troughs in life, be true and have a charitable heart, make use of the talents and skills at hand to do more goods, that’s all she is doing.
It’s not my first time hearing of these values and mindset. Yet recounted by a person at my age who really practice them, they appear so much more impressive this time. Those ideas are so powerful that they could change people’s lives. I am not ready to take a religion yet, but I think there’s no harm to learn more about new ways of thinking and looking at life.
6 September
I went to bed at 10pm last night after the long day and got up at 6am this morning. I went to the gym to run for 20 minutes and practiced yoga in front of the big mirror there for 40 minutes. Then I came back to shower and went down to the canteen to have breakfast. By the time I returned to my room at around 830am, my roommates were still in bed. I would most likely be still sleeping too, in such a cool and raining Sunday morning.
Like what I wrote in the email to Kouros, I have changed myself a lot, since the day I came back from the ISSYP. I feel like doing an experiment of living. Try to do new things everyday, and look at things differently with an open mind. The time I spent on exercise this week is longer than that I spent in a month in the past. And by talking to people as if I just met them, I found out amazing things of them. And trying to write my blog entries in English is not as impossible as I thought. Maybe there are still mistakes in grammar and choice of words. But at least I tried. These days I constantly feel ignorant. I used to get panic about this. But now I accept this fact and even feel grateful to be aware of my ignorance. How boring life will be if I think there’s nothing more to find out. Everyday is still the same new day, and I am still the same old me. Yet I feel as if I am another person, new to the world, new to the life here. It feels great.
Indeed, as what Mr Quek pointed out, those great people we met will give us precious inspiration. However, inspiration will not make dreams come true. It is only up to us to put in hard work and take action to realize our aspirations. I always thank those who inspire me in one way or another for having changed my life. Now I realize I am wrong. I should thank them for bringing me great ideas, indeed. Afterwards I should pat myself on the back and say,
“Good job, Yangfan, you’ve changed your own life.”
It’s been a long day.
GEM-dragon boat plus Service-learning pudding making plus some reflective thoughts in between, there were challenges for both my body and mind.
Omitting the wordiness, I just want to note down two stories here. First is about a video screened during the BSP talk at Nanyang yesterday. A group of parents gathered together and chatted about their adult children.
A said proudly, “ My son is a successful lawyer. He always wins lawsuits.”
B came next, “My daughter is a great doctor. She saves tremendous lives.”
C and many other parents continued to showcase their children’s grand occupations and achievements. But a parent did not say anything.
So all others asked him, “What does your child do?”
He replied, “My son is just an ordinary person. He takes good care of me.”
When they heard this, the rest of the parents fell silent. Indeed, their children were successful in one way or another. Yet they were so engaged in their careers that they seldom came home to visit their parents, talked to their loved ones who raised them up and helped to do some house work. They succeed to be a good lawyer, doctor or any other profession with a grand title, yet they failed badly to fulfill their primary obligation, which was to be a dutiful son or daughter.
Andrel told me this story when we were queuing to pay for the ingredients of mango pudding at a supermarket. Before that I was telling her how happy I was to get to know her and we became close friends. I guessed it’s only at this pre-adult age when one could make true friends, without considering those so-called important factors in the adults’ eyes, such as social status and family background. Yet after hearing her words, I realized that it’s me who cared too much about all these silly factors, all the time, all along. Forget about all the grand names, it’s people who matter the most in our life. Be true and sincere to my parents, friends and everyone else around me, I am glad that I had been trying to do this, and will continue to do this in every day of my life.
The second learning point was drawn from the short conversion I had with Xin Yan at the bus stop after the pudding making session. It’s the first time I went to her home and I saw all the trophies she and her younger brother got in various competitions. Row by row they stood there on the shelf, neatly and quietly. The furnishings in the house are simple and clean, which make one feel comfortable and calm, just like Xin Yan’s personality. Knowing her for nearly three years, I found her never fail to surprise me, in a quiet way. To begin with, I must state clearly that she is a very versatile girl, talented in many aspects including dancing, drawing, calligraphy and weiqi (go chess). In addition, she is beautiful, at least in my eyes and I have never changed this point of view.
However, she is always so modest and humble. She never boasts about her awards, achievements and skills. When comes to team work, she talks little and does a lot, contributing as much as she could. Moreover, she displays integrity in her words and conduct, and is kind enough to remind her friends on that as well, without hurting their self-esteem. She makes me feel comfortable when I chat with her, neither humiliated nor abrupt. Nonetheless, if her behaviour is a mirror, I would not dare to look at my reflection in it. My vainglory, egoism and selfishness are loud enough to embarrass me. Being curious enough, I took the chance and courage, for the first time, to ask about her personal belief and the reason behind her right doings.
Then I got an answer more rewarding than I had expected. As I have known long ago, she is a Buddhist. She said, you won’t feel so proud when you know how trivial you are in the universe. She believed that she was a devoted Buddhist and did a lot of goods in her previous life (or maybe the countless lives before, as Leo said). Thus, she is blessed with talents, opportunities and resources to acquire those knowledge and skills. Yet, she knows that all the things she has now will be gone someday. It’s just a matter of time. There’s no need to grieve at losing things in life though, because in the first place we have nothing and so actually there is nothing to lose. Therefore, there is no reason to be proud of having something which will be lost someday. Live with a peaceful mind at all the crests and troughs in life, be true and have a charitable heart, make use of the talents and skills at hand to do more goods, that’s all she is doing.
It’s not my first time hearing of these values and mindset. Yet recounted by a person at my age who really practice them, they appear so much more impressive this time. Those ideas are so powerful that they could change people’s lives. I am not ready to take a religion yet, but I think there’s no harm to learn more about new ways of thinking and looking at life.
6 September
I went to bed at 10pm last night after the long day and got up at 6am this morning. I went to the gym to run for 20 minutes and practiced yoga in front of the big mirror there for 40 minutes. Then I came back to shower and went down to the canteen to have breakfast. By the time I returned to my room at around 830am, my roommates were still in bed. I would most likely be still sleeping too, in such a cool and raining Sunday morning.
Like what I wrote in the email to Kouros, I have changed myself a lot, since the day I came back from the ISSYP. I feel like doing an experiment of living. Try to do new things everyday, and look at things differently with an open mind. The time I spent on exercise this week is longer than that I spent in a month in the past. And by talking to people as if I just met them, I found out amazing things of them. And trying to write my blog entries in English is not as impossible as I thought. Maybe there are still mistakes in grammar and choice of words. But at least I tried. These days I constantly feel ignorant. I used to get panic about this. But now I accept this fact and even feel grateful to be aware of my ignorance. How boring life will be if I think there’s nothing more to find out. Everyday is still the same new day, and I am still the same old me. Yet I feel as if I am another person, new to the world, new to the life here. It feels great.
Indeed, as what Mr Quek pointed out, those great people we met will give us precious inspiration. However, inspiration will not make dreams come true. It is only up to us to put in hard work and take action to realize our aspirations. I always thank those who inspire me in one way or another for having changed my life. Now I realize I am wrong. I should thank them for bringing me great ideas, indeed. Afterwards I should pat myself on the back and say,
“Good job, Yangfan, you’ve changed your own life.”
无事一身轻
花了两个小时，整理房间。大肆清理杂物，丢弃所有将不再用到的东西。
从未发觉自己那么能囤积物品，仅仅为了那也许用到的一丁点可能，便随手搁置下来。实在是脏乱到无法忍受了。
毫不留情地，扔。扔。扔。
现下的桌面，只剩一盏台灯，笔筒，小猪手机座，水杯，两个从伊斯坦布尔带回的手绘小碗，及电脑。再无它物。清爽得舒服。
电脑硬盘也在前几天重装系统时被清空，狠心删掉移动硬盘里两年多的所有照片底件，还有不会再看的电影，还有靡靡杂杂的音乐。
像是整个人放空了一样，背负太多记忆，太累。
什么时候，能够对自己坚持许久的情感，也像今天扔旧物一样快刀斩乱麻地丢弃，那也许整个人，就会像所有人眼中的我一样，阳光许多。
从未发觉自己那么能囤积物品，仅仅为了那也许用到的一丁点可能，便随手搁置下来。实在是脏乱到无法忍受了。
毫不留情地，扔。扔。扔。
现下的桌面，只剩一盏台灯，笔筒，小猪手机座，水杯，两个从伊斯坦布尔带回的手绘小碗，及电脑。再无它物。清爽得舒服。
电脑硬盘也在前几天重装系统时被清空，狠心删掉移动硬盘里两年多的所有照片底件，还有不会再看的电影，还有靡靡杂杂的音乐。
像是整个人放空了一样，背负太多记忆，太累。
什么时候，能够对自己坚持许久的情感，也像今天扔旧物一样快刀斩乱麻地丢弃，那也许整个人，就会像所有人眼中的我一样，阳光许多。
The Warrior
I scanned through the Zhuhai No. 1 Middle School Honour Roll and tried to match those familiar names with the distant yet famous university followed. Hundreds of my friends are going to study in different parts of China, to embark on a new journey, the pursue of dreams. If I didn’t make the decision to come to Singapore three years ago, I would be one of them, anxious yet excited. But I am glad that I came and I know that I am different.
Last night, on the bus back to the hostel, Zijin and I were talking about life here. Both of us felt grateful to be here in Singapore, getting closer to know more about the big world, to obtain a global perspective better, and to get ready to go further. The liberal arts education system in the US seemed too attractive to resist. We knew we wanted to meet the people there and immerse in the western culture. We wanted to know more about the value of work and life, to spend time more meaningfully, to find out the truth of human nature, to venture, and thus to excel.
We can’t wait to go. And how delighted I am when I know that I am still young and brave, being able to afford the time and energy to stretch myself out of my comfort zone. I am always ready to change and to accept challenge. Failure cannot scare me away. Having an adventurous heart, a healthy body, and a curious mind, I know I am indefectible, and will live with no regrets.